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#HUMSHAKALS: How low can Sajid Khan sink?

“What do you call a ghost in a telephone?” Russell Peters wannabe Ashok (Saif Ali Khan) asks his bored audience at his standup gig.

“A phone bhoot!” is his answer. If you found that hilarious, read on as this may just be the film for you…

Crass, illogical, tacky, offensive: faithful fans (they exist) of director Sajid Khan’s mostly lucrative Bollywood comedies (‘Hey Babyy’, the ‘Housefull’ series) know what to expect.

In this respect, Khan’s latest assault on our cinematic sensibilities does not disappoint.

The big question is how low is he going to sink this time.

Gay predatory Hitler? Check!

Mincing bitchy queens named Chinku and Pinku? Check!

Piss joke? Check!

Fart joke about the Holocaust? Check!

Is nothing sacred for Sajid? It appears so as he even throws in a Hindi-Marathi speaking Prince Charles into the mix!

Set largely in a Hindi-speaking London, we meet Ashok (Saif Ali Khan) a Lakshmi Mittal-type tycoon and aspiring comedian and his best friend Kumar (Ritesh Deshmukh), who spend their time singing silly songs outside the Royal Albert Hall.

After declaring their love for each other (‘You love me?’ ‘Yes’), they drink some spiked water, which makes them behave like dogs, and are promptly committed to an asylum, which also houses their goofy doubles.

They end up being mistaken for each other.

It sounds like a promising premise for slapstick humour but Khan takes this literally: characters frequently slap each other and smear butter on each other faces in order to evoke laughter.

There are no redeeming features in this embarrassing shambolic film, which is a series of unfunny and lengthy sequences randomly patched together.

Everyone hams incessantly with Saif Ali Khan and Desmukh equating pulling funny faces and barking to comic acting.

Whoever let these dogs out should be put down.

The three skimpily clad heroines have nothing to do but at least they are not getting their bums pinched or slapped as in the director’s previous hits.

The saddest thing about this entire mess is that it is deliberately and gleefully vacuous.

There is one mildly amusing sequence in which Saif and Ritesh are about to be tortured by the warden.

They are forced to watch a DVD of the director’s own remake of ‘Himmatwala’!

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